" I have wept all morning. That's all I know to do. I know what I've done wrong, and now I must pay. I am the guilty one. I am a dirty, petty thief. Today I am going to be crucified. Do you understand how heartbreaking this morning was? Saying goodbye to your family for the last time...no you don't get that. Unless you've been where I've been you don't get it. But I have to realize I have done wrong. I know I have. And honestly I kept doing wrong too. I not only would fail my family everyday but I would constantly fail myself as well. I am broken, down trodden, fallen to pieces and have nowhere else to turn. No one will accept me. My family gave me awkward glances and goodbyes offering no second chances. Their family member is going to die on a cross for his wrongdoings, why should we love him? You know what, for the first while, I blamed them. I was their kin. I thought how can you turn on someone like that? Well my answer is now as clear as the sky above me and that is, if I can turn on them instantly and daily, how can I be surprised? I mean I expect a family to welcome me with open arms after I live my life of crime right under their noses? Once again, I am the guilty one.
This preparatory chamber is dark and cold. It is almost as worse as my chamber in which the guards keeps me imprisoned. All I'm allowed to wear as garments are measly cloths around my waist. I am unclothed for the most part and cold. As cold as my heart. My heart has never been so cold as it is now. Some say hearts are the coldest on the eve after the crime, but I say to the contrare it is actually during the reflection period when the healing seems to never come is when the heart feels the coldest. What am I saying, they are coming in shortly to give me my piece of wood, a crucifix, to carry to my death hill. Why do my pleas of the mind amount to anything at this point?
The pleas of my mind!? What about the pleas of my soul? I am too unworthy to even say His name anymore! I am a dirty human being! I am apart from my soul and now I will be sent into the underlings of hell where I belong! Oh what's the point in not trying? HEAR MY CRY OH LORD! To you I cry out in my deepest darkest moment where you are probably so far away you've shunned my words away from your ears! I bet the gatekeepers of heaven only hear my cries as whispers in the wind I am so far away from you God! Oh Lord if there is any chance of you saving me let it be now! I have no sacrifice! I really don't know what to believe anymore either Lord. I know the Pharisees wouldn't let me see the light of the day in your temple so what is my other option? Who is this man that is walking around here and is he from you, Lord? I know the wrong I've done, I am a dirty nasty thief and deserve death and well, now I get it."
The thief takes up his cross and begins the journey onto the hill. He notices when he is beginning his first round of lashes there is not the normal crowd gathered equally to each of the three criminals but mainly today they are gathered around the middle. The crowd is overwhelming for this criminal. All the thief sees is a cross though, he is too short and receiving too much brute force to try and glance any further in that direction than he can and is now forced just to continue to keep walking. There is never a crowd this large gathered for normal criminals so the thief knows this must be a murderer of a great multitude of individuals hence the reason for the large gathering of people for a crucifixion. He barely has time to raise his forehead up towards heaven before another blow to the head almost renders him unconscious. In his heart he's ready for death. He prays that God will somehow save him but he knows that's impossible.
He arrives at the hill and is nailed to the cross. Agonizing screams are cumbersome compared to the sound of the nails on the wood. With the help of the Roman guards, he is hoisted into his position beside the middle cross. His eyes are almsot swollen shut now. He tries with all his might to open them again and when he does, he begins to scream for another reason. He squints a picture of a man he's seen before. He wasn't sure where because at this point his memory is almsot as cloudy as his vision and his mind much less coherent than even a little bit ago in the preparatory chamber. Even with his handicap he still notices who the man is. This is the man they claim is named Jesus.
"Nooooo. I don't understand!...........I...I don't get it.....Why is he here?!"
The thief knew the man was innocent. Upon the man they called Jesus's approach, another thief was hoisted on the other side and this thief began to look at the man called Jesus with disbelief as well but it was a different kind. All attention, including that of our penitent thief, shifted towards the man in the center. His nails were more powerful, and his screams more piercing. This sounded like no man. This sounded like suffering and pain manufactured from all of the voices of the people of the world who have ever hopelessly cried out into the night. He was hoisted up in his postion into the middle and all eyes were on Him.
Time went by and the thief could barely breathe. It seems that all thought had left him and now he hung there as a vegetable hangs on a garden plant about to be eaten but in his case the ever looming tomb takes the place of the hungry mouth. The light is starting to fade then he hears it. No, not from the man in the middle this time, it was from the other criminal. The other criminal shouted "Are you not the Christ? Then save yourself, and us!"
"This was Him! Not the him, but the HIM! This Jesus is the son of God everyone had claimed he was. I see it more clearly now than ever! While by now my eyesight has left me, I know who this man is and it is no normal man but the Messiah. But wait? Why is he on a cross like me? I am the guilty one, I deserve death but why him? Why is he like me? Why is this other criminal on the far side of the Messiah shouting at Him? I don't understand this"
His thoughts fell silent as did his consciousness, something within him ignited another breath and he shouted aloud in the direction towards the other two.
“Do you not even fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong. Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!"
"Truly I say to you, today you shall be with me in paradise."
Tears of joy streamed down the face of the criminal. He tried to form another thought or another word but in that time of extreme joy, physical death overcame him. But after all of his pleas, when he thought God was the furthest away from him, God sent His son Jesus to die for the sins of not only this thief but for everyone. I hope you've enjoyed this fictional account I created from the thief's point of view. I could go into reasoning why I shifted between 1st and 3rd person but that's unimportant. What is important is that if you already know the story then this can offer you an alternative. If you do not know the story of Jesus however I encourage you to read all four accounts of it all written a little differently in the four gospels of the Bible. That is all and this concludes the Part 2 of my 3 part Easter blog posts. Tomorrows is for celebration!!!!
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